I came across this funny tid bit of information regarding the Super Bowl and the author Kevin Hench’s thoughts on his visit to Miami.
There’s nothing pedestrian about Miami foot traffic.
“If there were a Super Bowl for pedestrians, Miamians would be the ’72 Dolphins. They are aggressive, fearless and — despite their best efforts in front of my car this week — unblemished. They come at you so fast and hard off the sidewalk that you start worrying not about hitting them but about getting hit by them. There were a couple of times I had to punch it to avoid getting T-boned by a guy with a serious need to get to the other side. I was flying down Washington in Miami Beach when I thought this young woman had decided to commit suicide. She bolted in front of me while her friend put on the brakes and held up. The near-death experience hardly dampened their moods as I could see them sharing a laugh across the thoroughfare in my rearview mirror.”
Miami is hardly overflowing with civic pride.
“On 560 A.M. Friday morning, the hosts were rattling off a list of things listeners were worried that Super Bowl tourists were going to discover about Miami. After rattling off a Top 10 list of all that ails the city, one of the hosts punctuated the bit with ‘I wonder if they’ll figure out that South Beach is only a few blocks long and the rest of the city is a toilet.'”
Regarding Miami’s finest:
Miami’s finest must be fighting real crime.
“How you would even begin to police traffic laws in this nebulous matrix of 9-point font signage and wacky civil engineering is beyond me. But the good news for me is that when you make an illegal left turn right in front of a cop, apparently he’s got bigger fish to fry. Not one but two sirens went off behind me just after I swung my proscribed left off Flagler and onto Miami Avenue (missing your street could mean another 45 minutes in traffic, so you have to weigh “no turns” signs accordingly). I was already working up my little-boy-lost, out-of-towner defense when both cops turned off behind me.”
Suffice to say, this article was not at all flattering, but still rather amusing. Coming from a sports media source, I take any information regaring my city’s hospitality with a grain of salt.